


Be There With Bells On

by Lemon_drop_lantana



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Anal Sex, Costume Kink, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff and Humor, Just Reno driving Rude crazy, M/M, Romance, Teasing, just humans, no actual cows here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-18 13:34:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28744053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lemon_drop_lantana/pseuds/Lemon_drop_lantana
Summary: A Year of the Ox special!  Reno's costume is quite a surprise and Rude has no idea how he feels about it.“Well?” Reno asks, looking over his shoulder with that same little smirk. Rude catches the sight of small horns and floppy ears, peeking out from the red spikes of his hair. “What do you think?” Reno prompts.“I think you’ve lost your damn mind.”Reno laughs in delight and turns back to step in close to Rude. He throws back his shoulders, chest forward, chin tipped up to show off the cowbell attached to his neck.“C’mon partner,” he says in a low, coaxing drawl. “Ring my bell.”
Relationships: Reno/Rude (Compilation of FFVII)
Comments: 25
Kudos: 50





	Be There With Bells On

**Author's Note:**

> Dear reader, 
> 
> Are you dealing with uncomfortable, cow-related arousal due to the absolute glut of erotic, Year-of-the-Ox-themed art? Let this fic, and Reno/Rude, help you process these complicated emotions.
> 
> This fic was inspired by MANY cow-themed works of art on twitter, but in PARTICULAR, these amazing, adorable, hilarious, (and not graphic) sketches by @wall_uchi.
> 
> [ Matador Rude ](https://twitter.com/wall_uchi/status/1346145693522567169?s=20)  
> [ Cow Reno ](https://twitter.com/wall_uchi/status/1346150197471154176?s=20)  
> [ Reno & Rude ](https://twitter.com/wall_uchi/status/1346168992877010944?s=20)

“I’m not wearing the hat,” Rude calls through the door. 

The costume is quite enough. Rude tries to be a good sport when Reno gets overly enthusiastic about these things. He’s willing to tolerate the skin-tight pants. Willing to carry the little red cape. He’s not going to wear the oddly-shaped black hat as well.

The door opens. “Fine,” Reno shrugs as he walks out, gait as confident and easy as ever. Rude looks him over from bottom to top. And then top to bottom more slowly. When he finally speaks the words come halting, each one clear and harsh. 

“What the _fuck_ are you wearing?”

Reno smiles coyly and steps closer. He reaches behind himself to catch what is apparently _a tail_ and runs his hand to a tuft of hair at the end of it. He reaches up and tickles Rude’s chin with the fur. Rude steps back looking shocked. His nose wrinkles with what might be disgust.

“Don’t you like it?” Reno asks with a smile that Rude associates with the bedroom.

“You’re a cow.” It’s not a question, although there is a question implied.

“I thought it was funny. You know it’s the Year of the Cow, right?” Reno isn’t put off by Rude’s expression in the slightest.

“It’s the Year of the Ox,” Rude corrects, brow still furrowed.

“Whatever. And I’m a _bull_ , Rude. Cows are girls.”

Rude ignores him. “You’re a… sexy cow?” This time Rude lets the question come through.

“You tell me,” Reno responds, looking up at Rude from beneath fluttering lashes, which seem extra long and doe-like tonight. His delivery is dead serious. Reno steps away and turns his back to Rude, letting him take in the full getup from behind.

Bewildered, Rude looks his partner over once more. Assless chaps. Reno is wearing assless chaps in a black and white cow print. Over cheeky, tight, black shorts, which Rude thinks are actually underwear. Attached to the back of the strap around his waist is the cow tail, trailing over his ass and reaching down to his calves. It sways from side to side as Reno shimmies his hips for effect.

The cow print is repeated on a sleeveless crop top and long gloves that highlight his trim form and strong shoulders. 

“Well?” Reno asks, looking over his shoulder with that same little smirk. Rude catches the sight of small horns and floppy ears, peeking out from the red spikes of his hair. “What do you think?” Reno prompts.

“I think you’ve lost your damn mind.”

Reno laughs in delight and turns back to step in close to Rude. He throws back his shoulders, chest forward, chin tipped up to show off the cowbell attached to his neck.

“C’mon partner,” he says in a low, coaxing drawl. “Ring my bell.”

Rude closes his eyes and presses his fingers to his forehead. Takes a deep breath. Reno has worn a lot of crazy costumes—the year he dressed up as Don Corneo stands out—but he has never left Rude so completely astounded.

Rude realizes he’s only going to get wound up if they discuss this further. “Fine. You wanna go out like this? Okay. Let’s go.”

“I can tell you like it, Rude,” Reno almost sings, swinging the tail in a lazy circle like a lasso.

“You’ve lost your mind,” Rude repeats, picking up the red bullfighter’s cape. 

But…

deep, deep down…

He’s afraid that Reno might be right. 

////

The party is already buzzing when they arrived. Cissnei’s Halloween bash is a Turk tradition and they receive a drunken and enthusiastic welcome upon arrival.

“Oh my fucking _gods,”_ Cissnei slurs, standing in her front hallway between them and the party. She's got cat ears nestled in her hair and whiskers drawn on her cheeks. “What am I looking at?” she asks, mouth agape.

“Haven’t you ever seen a bullfighter, Cissy?” Reno replies, slipping past her stiff, shocked body. He’s looking around, trying to find the bar, giving Cissnei a good view of his backside as well.

“Are you a _cow?”_ She asks loudly, having barely glanced up at Rude.

“A bull,” he answers, headed toward the kitchen. “Rude has a thing for ‘em,” he throws back over his shoulder as he walks off in search of booze.

Cissnei turns back to Rude and finally takes in his outfit. The high-waisted black pants and pleated white shirt. The short black jacket with gold trim winding over his shoulders. The small, red cape clenched tightly in his hand.

“Bulls?” she asks, voice laced with confusion.

Rude shakes his head. “I need a drink.”

////

Reno’s costume is a hit and he basks in the attention like a cat in the sun. He shakes his tail. He pokes people with his horns. He drinks like a fish and he laughs too loudly. It makes it easy for Rude’s eyes to find him anywhere in the small apartment.

But, for the time being, he leaves Reno be. Rude slinks off to a couch pushed back into the corner and drinks scotch and soda while his partner— _the cow—_ flits around the party. Twice, Reno solicitously delivers fresh, heavily-poured drinks to Rude. The second time, he slips onto Rude’s lap, relaxed and grinning as he holds the red, plastic cup for Rude to take a sip.

“Are you trying to get me drunk?” Rude asks. He’s got to admit, Reno makes a mean drink and he is starting to feel warm and loose.

“Yo, the bull’s gotta have some advantages, right partner?” he winks.

Balto, sitting next to Rude, gives them a critical once-over. “Don’t bullfighters _kill_ bulls? Should you really be sitting on his lap?”

Reno shifts his hips on Rude’s thighs. “It’s the _little death_ , ya know?” He gives a lascivious smile.

Rude groans and shoves Reno off his lap. The cowbell gives a tinny clang as he stumbles forward, laughing. He turns around and sticks his tongue out. “You know you like it.”

He sashays off and Rude finds himself mesmerized by the sway of Reno’s ass. The chaps frame it perfectly and he can see the sweet creases under his cheeks peeking out from the bottom of those teensy black shorts. The tail drapes down into the slight valley created where the thin fabric stretches tightly across Reno’s pert, round ass. Above the waistband of the chaps, the dimples of his lower back are on display. The dimples where Rude usually puts his thumbs. He loves those dimples.

The whole setup highlights some of Rude’s very favorite parts of Reno’s body. Parts that usually aren’t on display when they’re out in public. 

_This has nothing to do with the costume,_ Rude thinks to himself, eyes glued to Reno. _It’s just a very skimpy outfit._

Reno arches his back as he tips his head up to finish a drink and Rude is so focused he startles when Balto speaks.

“So you have a thing for cows?”

“What?” Rude tears his eyes away. “No. Cows? Are you kidding?”

“That’s what Reno just said.”

“Reno is a fucking idiot.”

Balto raises his eyebrows. “Strong words.”

“You know it’s true,” Rude grumps, still watching Reno out of the corner of his eye.

////

Rude is having trouble focusing on the conversation with Emma and her little sister, whatever her name is. He’s not sure how Reno does it, but whenever Rude glances his way, Reno’s back is turned to him, and his swishing tail draws Rude’s eyes to his ass like a beacon.

He wants it. His fingers are _itching_ to touch.

It only takes one more drink for Rude to get off the couch to be closer to Reno. Maybe it’s just that his vision is getting blurry, but somehow the whole costume is starting to look better and better. The crop top shows off Reno’s lean abs. The horns are… cute. The chaps… his thoughts fizzle off.

It’s late and somebody has turned the lights down and the music is loud and a surprising number of people are dancing in the living room. Reno is one of them. Rude slides behind him smoothly and Reno leans his head back on Rude’s shoulder without missing a beat. Like he knew—down to the second—when Rude’s need to touch would overcome his restraint.

Rude only dances when he’s drunk and Reno takes full advantage of his lowered inhibitions, reaching behind to slide a hand around Rude’s neck and grinding backwards in delicious, rocking movements. Rude can’t keep his hands off. They slide around the bare skin showing at Reno’s waist. One holds onto his hip to keep him close while the other creeps up under the crop top to thumb across a soft nipple.

Reno shivers. He turns in Rude’s arms and looks up with a giddy smile. His good mood is infectious as he slides his hands up under Rude’s gold-trimmed jacket.

“Oh, you’re coming around now, huh?” he teases.

“I can ignore the costume,” Rude shoots back.

“Suuuuure. ‘Cuz you haven’t been staring at me all night.”

Rude lets his hands slip down to trace his thumbnails along the creases of Reno’s ass. “Don’t I always do that?”

“No, you don’t.” Reno’s eyes go soft and he leans back into Rude’s hands. “Admit it. You like it, Rude.”

“I might like it a little bit,” he answers, pinching Reno’s ass between two fingers as if he’s showing how much. 

The look in Reno’s eyes is heated as their bodies move together and Rude feels an overwhelming need for more. “C’mere.”

He pulls Reno off the makeshift dance floor and down onto the couch with him, nestled between his legs, back to chest like they’re taking a break to watch the dancing.

“I think you like it a lot,” Reno says as Rude grabs the red cape off the arm of the couch and pulls it over Reno’s lap.

“I like _you_ a lot,” Rude says, hands slipping into the chaps to find the smooth, soft skin of Reno’s inner thighs.

Reno squirms back against him and spreads his legs a bit wider. “Oh shit,” he whispers.

Rude lets his fingers tease up under the edges of the shorts on Reno’s hips before he peels the waistband up away from his skin and slips his hand inside. Reno’s already hard and his cock is silky and warm and responsive as Rude slides his palm over it. The moan that slips from Reno’s lips as Rude curls his hand and caresses is too loud, but Rude is beyond caring.

He gives a short stroke and then wraps his fingers around the head, finding a drop of precum and spreading over the glans with his thumb.

 _“_ _Fuuuuuck_ _,”_ Reno whispers, tipping his head back onto Rude’s shoulder and turning his lips towards his ear. “Rude,” he breaths.

“Yeah, baby?”

“Milk me.”

Rude freezes, hand still wrapped around Reno’s cock. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

Reno giggles in reply and shifts his hip to slide his cock in Rude’s hand.

“Bulls don’t have milk, Reno.”

“This one does.”

“Ugh. I can’t. You are _the worst.”_ Rude slides his hand out of Reno’s shorts and pushes him off the couch, but Reno spins around and slides straight back to straddle his lap, arms smoothing over broad shoulders. 

“C’mon, pard’ner,” Reno teases.

Rude rolls his eyes so hard it hurts and tries to turn his head away but Reno catches his jaw in both hands and holds his face still. He ducks down and presses a kiss to Rude’s mouth. His lips are wet and softly parted. It’s the sort of slow kiss that promises more and Rude’s hands automatically slide up to clutch at Reno’s hips. And there he finds so much more smooth, bare skin than usual that he forgets his disgust in an instant.

His hands slide further. One caresses over the small of Reno’s back, the other traces up between his shoulder blades. Both press him closer and Rude’s breath flees him as Reno slides close enough to rub against his cock, which neither of them had realized was already hard as steel.

Rude feels Reno’s lips tighten into a smile. He rolls his hips devilishly and Rude gasps and grabs him by the thighs to push him back.

“Not here,” Rude hisses. He’s drunk, but not drunk enough to forget that he’s surrounded by his coworkers.

"Of course not here!” Reno’s eyes are glittering with mischief. He leans closer. “Cissy’s room.” He tilts his head towards the single, dim hallway leading from the living room. “I picked the lock earlier.”

As Reno turns his head to look around the party and see if anyone is watching, something nestled in his hair attracts Rude’s eye. Reno has stuck a tag onto one of his cow ears. Rude catches the yellow plastic in his hand and angles it towards the light from the kitchen. It says, simply, “Rude’s.”

He’s overcome by a surge of affection and presses his lips against Reno’s ear. “God, I wanna fuck you so bad, you stupid cow.”

“I know, dude. Come on!” He pulls Rude up by the hand and drags him, stumbling, across the dance floor and into a dark hall. They slip through a bedroom door and Reno barely has time to lock it behind them before Rude has him pressed up against it, hands _everywhere_. Sliding down over his ass. Up under his top. Into the curves of his thighs.

“How are we gonna do this?” Rude asks, crushing Reno against the wall as he ruts against him. “Fuck, I want your ass.” He slides one hand into the back of Reno’s shorts and grips a cheek so hard they both know there will be fingerprint bruises tomorrow. “Think she has lube?”

“Check your jacket,” Reno grates out, barely able to draw enough breath, pressed between the door and Rude’s hard, muscular body. 

Rude backs up enough to get a hand inside his own jacket and finds that there is indeed an interior pocket and Reno, in one of his fits of genius, has tucked a packet of lube in it.

“God, I love you, baby,” Rude sighs in relief. He tosses the packet onto the bed, turns Reno around, and picks him up by the thighs. Presses him back against the wall and grinds their cocks together desperately. Reno chokes out the sweetest little sounds and Rude isn’t sure he can make it to the bed.

“Fuck you’re sexy. Let me hear you,” Rude says as he thrusts against Reno, teeth leaving reddened marks on his neck.

Reno gets surprisingly quiet for a moment and then Rude feels Reno’s chest quiver. And then he hears a quiet, “Mooooooooooo.”

Rude recoils and drops him to the ground. “I swear to fucking god, Reno.”

Reno is laughing too hard to reply so Rude get one hand under his ass and the other on his shoulder, picks him up off his feet and throws him onto the bed. Reno lands in a tangled sprawl and pushes up to his hands and knees, still shaking with quiet laughter. 

Rude can’t tell if he’s horny or irritated or both but his dick is still throbbing so he climbs onto the bed, grabs those tight, black shorts by the waistband, and yanks them down as far as they will go on Reno’s thighs. It’s not far, given that Reno is still wearing chaps, but it’s far enough. 

“Hey!” Reno protests as the seams stretch and there’s a slight tearing sound. “Don’t rip up these shorts or I’m gonna have to walk outta here with my dick out.”

“Bulls don’t wear shorts, Reno,” Rude replies, tossing the tail up towards Reno’s shoulder and slicking up his fingers in a hurry.

He can tell Reno’s about to talk back so he spreads him with one hand and pushes in two fingers with the other. Not rough, but not gentle either. It’s certainly enough to shut him up. Rude gets more sounds—the good kind—as he strokes into Reno with his fingers, adding the third one faster than usual. Keeping Reno on the edge and gasping. Rude’s cock is so hard he’s afraid he’s going to cum in his pants. 

He nearly tears the cheap polyester of his own pants as he shoves them down with one clumsy hand, the fingers of the other drilling into Reno. In his drunken rush, Rude has made a mess with the lube and it’s smeared all over Reno’s ass and thighs. He finally gets his cock out, heavy and aching, and rubs it between Reno’s legs to catch some of the slick. 

No patience for warnings, Rude pulls his fingers out, grabs onto Reno’s hips, and pushes his cock in, straight to the hilt, with one, quick roll of his hips. Reno makes a choked-off sound but Rude can barely hear him over the groan of relief that courses from his own lungs. He’s been wanting this, waiting for this, since Reno first stepped out of the bedroom tonight. His world narrows down to only Reno’s body, wrapping around his cock—tight and hot and clenching as if it’s trying to pull him deeper.

“Your ass is so fucking perfect,” Rude gasps out, trying not to cum immediately. And as Rude looks down, he realizes he has never seen it looking better than at this moment—framed by the chaps and the bunched-up black shorts and the tail snaking up Reno’s back. And his own cock, sliding in dark and thick to make space inside his partner.

Reno’s legs are held together by the shorts on his thighs so he feels even tighter than usual. Rude gives a few experimental thrusts, deep and slow to make sure Reno is comfortable. When he hears a slurred _fuck yes,_ Rude draws one knee forward, planting a foot up on the bed for more leverage, and starts fucking in earnest. Hard and fast like he’s trying to set a new depth record.

The sound of mumbled, desperate encouragement only spurs him on and soon the whole bed is shaking in time with his hips. Reno arches his spine and tips back his head, creating an even prettier picture against backdrop of the sheets. Rude feels his balls tighten, but then an odd sound breaks through the pleasant white noise of Rude’s breath and Reno’s cursing. Strange and rhythmic and tinny. 

He realizes what it is. The fucking cowbell, clanging in time as Rude pounds into Reno.

Reno shoots an amused look over his shoulder and Rude isn’t sure if he wants to kill him or fuck him harder. His cock votes for “fuck him,” so Rude leans forward to smack a hand between Reno’s shoulder blades and slam his chest down to the bed, muffling the bell in the sheets.

“Yes. _Fuck yes,”_ Reno whimpers out, turning his head away from the bell and arching his back for the perfect angle. _“Breed me.”_

Rude is so taken aback his pace slows.

“I thought I was a bullfighter and you were a bull,” he says, panting through his thrusts.

“Whatever. _Just go with it,”_ Reno coaxes.

“This is so confusing.” Rude has been confused all night.

“Let it be. I need your cum inside me.” Reno’s voice has gone pleading and Rude groans in response. 

“You want my seed inside you?” 

_“Yes.”_

_“Breed you?”_ Rude can’t believe the words that are coming out of his mouth.

_“Yes.”_

Rude slams so hard into Reno he’s going to bruise himself on his partner’s bony pelvis. “Fine, you fucking heifer. I’ll breed you.” Reno clenches and Rude can’t stop. “I’ll fuck a calf into you.”

He’s lost all control, pounding into Reno so forcefully that he’d hurt him if not for the fact that Rude can’t hold back his orgasm for another second. He cums fast and hard, squeezing his hands around Reno’s pale hips and grinding into his ass. He wants that cum as deep as possible.

The orgasm washes away Rude’s strength, leaving him weak and dizzy, but Reno is still panting and whimpering into the sheets.

Rude pulls his cock out, ignoring the mess they’re making on Cissnei’s bed.

“Turn the fuck over,” he tells Reno, pushing on his hip to help him roll. “I’m gonna milk you.”

Reno sprawls onto his back, smiling and gorgeous and dreamy and nearly fucked out. His cow-print crop is pushed up over his chest. The bell is dangling off the side of his neck. Somehow the horns are still perfectly in place and he looks at Rude with self-satisfied, heavy-lidded eyes. 

Rude isn’t going to say it again so he crouches over Reno’s legs and takes his needy cock into his mouth. Rude’s lips are gentle… and his hands and his tongue as he coaxes quiet moans out of Reno’s sweet mouth. When Reno’s hips begin bucking underneath his body, Rude holds him down and sucks harder until Reno strokes his head and cries _Rude_ and spurts into his mouth.

Rude captures every drop and pulls off to fix Reno with a smug look of his own. His partner is finally too overwhelmed to make any more stupid cow jokes. Rude parts his lips and lets the cum and spit in his mouth drip out onto Reno’s still-twitching cock.

“There,” he says, licking his lips. “You’re milked.”

“Ugh. Rude!” Reno squirms away from him on the bed. “You’re so fucking gross.”

 _“Me?”_ Rude can’t stop grinning. He’s caught Reno’s good mood from before. Reno, his crazy, sexy, weird, funny, gorgeous partner. Love of his goddamn life. He grabs a random piece of clothing out of Cissnei’s laundry hamper and throws it towards Reno.

“Clean yourself up.” Rude is already zipping up his pants, clumsy and drunk.

“Cissy’s never gonna let us in her apartment again,” Reno says, not quite regretfully, as he scrubs at his midsection.

“She’ll never know,” Rude replies, tossing the garment back into the hamper.

“Well cowboy, you got lube all over her bed. And some cum too.”

“Now I’m a cowboy? Make up your mind.”

“I don’t need to,” Reno says confidently as he climbs off the bed. “You’re whatever I want you to be.” He peeks out the door to see if anyone’s in the hallway.

Rude thinks about what Reno just said. Looks at the little horns silhouetted by the light from the hallway. The lithe body on display. The sheer, unabashed, audacity of that costume.

“You’re right. You’re too fucking cute and you’re right, you crazy cow.”

**Author's Note:**

> I yell wild, filthy things on twitter. Stay away for your own good. [ @LemonDropLan ](https://twitter.com/LemonDropLan)


End file.
